And when in Star Trek they traveled back in time to save the whales, all they did was slingshot around the sun, right? How come they never used that tactic to, say, save Spock from getting killed? Or to stop the Klingon War in the first place? If I were Captain Kirk, I'd be going back in time to find my freakin' hairbrush, if it's so god-damned easy! Though you can't tell from our comic, it's actually very, very hard.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Ep. 2X03 - When this comic hits 88 Back to the Future references, you're gonna see some serious shit!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Ep. 2X02 - Panels!? Where We're Going, We Don't Need Panels!
When Superman circled the Earth at light speed in order to reverse time to save Lois Lane, why was California not subsequently destroyed? Originally, Superman had to choose between saving California from destruction at the hands of Lex Luthor or rescue Lois Lane. He saved California, but then, via his nonsensical time travel technique, reverted time in order to save Lois. But he reversed all of time, so California should remain in peril! It's not like there was an alternate Superman saving California while original Superman was saving our intrepid reporter. And even if there was an alternate Superman, that alternate Superman would, upon completing his mission to save California, reverse all of time again creating an infinite time loop that Earth would never get out of - society would never advance past the '80s! OR alternate Superman could have come to the conclusion somehow that there was no reason to reverse time since Lois was saved by "original Superman", and this would break the time travel cycle - but also create a paradox - one in which original Superman never reverts time in the first place!
Our comic plans to be less confusing than this.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Previously on Psychic Distance:
Psychic Distance returns Friday with the second episode of its NEW SEASON.
PSYCHIC DISTANCE!
SEASON 2!
MORE TONY, MORE TJ. (Psychic Distance does not guarantee the amount of TJ or Tony provided by any comic.)
Meanwhile, Psychic Distance is offering everyone a chance to catch up on the wacky antics of TJ and Tony during Season 1! Presenting: Previously on Season 1 of Psychic Distance! Do you have too much going on in your important life to catch up on 42 episodes worth of comics? Are you a close personal friend of Tony or TJ and you feel you have an obligation to keep up with the comic even though you don't find it very amusing? WELL, NO PROBLEM, the authors are providing you with a quick and dirty guide to the first season of Psychic Distance:
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Ep. 2X01 - Psychic Distance to the Future.
Next time on Psychic Distance: The deep, disturbing truth about Tony's hand dexterity is revealed. Is Tony truly left-handed? Or does he maintain some skills exclusive to his right hand? WHICH HAND DOES HE EAT WITH? Stay tuned for all this and more in Season 2 of Psychic Distance!
(Also, thanks to everyone for supporting the comic, we're proud to be able to provide the Internets with our lolz. YOU'RE WELCOME, INTERNETS.)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Ep. 1X42 - Google Chicken: The First to Hit the Back Button Loses.
Technically, Tony and TJ are not playing Google Chicken. They are playing a google version of the Hawk—Dove game, a game where players fight in a strategic method of escalated fighting until one player withdraws or backs down. You may more commonly know this game as the "Let's-say-penis-and-get-louder-each-time-we-say-it-until-
someone-is-too-embarrassed-to-say-it-any-louder" Game.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Ep. 1X39 - Ironically, I don't remember that movie Memento.
"PPS: Heads up: You're gay. Do you remember that? I've always wondered if it works that way."
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Ep. 1X38 - TJ Dietderich Discusses the Issues
AND YOUR DIRTY, HAIRY MAN-PAW IS ALL UP IN THE FRAME. JESUS!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Ep. 1X36 - Tony Fucks Up
Psychic Distance Tagline circa November - October 2007:
Psychic Distanse. We don't make misteaks.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ep. 1X35 - Hitler Was an OK Dude Until He Got Lost Without G-maps on His Cell
TJ: Oh hey, Gran-Gran! Long time no speak! How have you been? How's Grandpa? Oh, and how was that cruise you just got back from?
Gran-Gran: Yeah, sweetie, I'm gonna need to hear less pointless drivel and more about the FUCKING BEST ROUTE TO GET TO CRACKER BARREL. Oh, and if you could also click the "avoid major highways" option I'd sure appreciate it, dear.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Ep. 1X34 - Not-So-Superpower
Let's form a league of crime-fighters with the kid who can only telekinetically turn off alarm clocks and the girl who can make just shaving cream appear from thin air!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Ep. 1X32 - Wahhhhh-E
TJ: Hey, I was just gonna call you, what's going on?
Tony: Not much, saw Wall-E today.
TJ: Oh yeah, I saw that last week! God, I hated that movie. And this guy in the front row was noticeably sobbing. Awkward. It wasn't Schindler's List; grow some balls, dude.
Tony: You were on the line, weren't you? God, I hate you.
TJ: Yeah? Well, I hate your Donald Sutherland references. Do you honestly expect me to keep abreast of 1970s science fiction?
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Ep. 1X31- The Fanboy Who Loved Me
Weekend Timeline:
1. Tony can't decide whether to watch Goldfinger or Casino Royale.
2. Tony compromises and watches both at the same time.
3. Tony shops for new pants.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Ep. 1X30 - Do NOT Hang This Comic in Your Cubicle. Ass.
"Oh, hey, Bob. Could you not hang that comic on THAT wall? That's my clean wall. I like to keep all my "fun" stuff over here on the left. See? It's a picture of a kitten looking sad, and it says "is it Friday yet?" You know what I'm saying? Even in the natural world, Bob. Even kittens, you know? So yeah, if you could put it over there, that would be great. Thanks, man. Awesome Dockers."
Friday, June 6, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Ep. 1X28 - A Tale of Two Thought Processes
Who needs bread and milk when I'm gonna have nightly comedy clubs featuring groundbreaking new performers!?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Ep. 1X27 - Corrupted by Power ... and Photoshop.
Tony (Later that day): DAMMNIT, TJ! I said that Courier New has to be ALIASED. I knew I couldn't trust her...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Ep. 1x26 - Secret Gay Master List
What's the opposite of openly gay? Boarded-up gay? After 5 p.m. and federal holidays gay?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Ep. 1x25 - How To Feel Better About Oneself
This comic is sadder if you imagine it happened at 10:30 a.m. on a Tuesday. Because it did.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Ep. 1X23 - Fallout
< lj-cut text="Super Secret Locked Flist Post" >
I wrote a comic today. Maybe someone will read it.
;.;
< /lj-cut >
Monday, April 7, 2008
Ep. 1X22 - PD v. VG
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S ANOTHER COMIC WITH THE SAME 6 PANELS OF STILL PICTURES EVERY TIME? You're next, Ryan North!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Ep. 1X21 - Fat Tony Demands Your Laughter
12 sticks of butter travel better in theory than in real life.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Ep. 1X20 - Psychic Distance Presents: 2008 Presidential Candidates
Copyright 2008 Tony "I <3 America" Loria and TJ "Hussein" Dietderich
Copyright 2008 TJ "I <3 America" Dietderich and Tony "I'm John McCain" Loria.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Ep. 1X19 - Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em
OH MY GOD! You know what I just realized? YOU KILLED MY PIPE DREAM!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Ep. 1X18 - I've Got A Great Idea for This Title!
Next week on Psychic Distance: TJ gets excited about smoking a pipe; Tony pragmatically disagrees with her. And you won't believe the punch line!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Ep. 1X17 - Addicted to Interventions
Fiiiinnnne! No more Pokemon! Let's see what else do I have to play? ... oh Zelda! Collect the 3 pieces of the Tri-Force, get 50 Heart Containers, find 200 bugs, while maintaining a collection of several thousand Rupees. ... oh, this is my kind of game.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Ep. 1X16 - Please don't stop reading our comic; your shows will be just as bad as they were before the strike.
C'mon, writers. You couldn't wait another year for the strike to end? We had a really funny joke saved up. It's not apropos now, and only 1% of our viewers would get it. But hey! We're gonna use it anyway:
"Wait, what do you mean, my TV is analog? NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Monday, February 11, 2008
Ep. 1X15 - The Spy Who Punned Me
Tony: And Barbara Broccoli is still producing it ... it's nice to see the films stay in the family after all these years.
TJ: With Co-producers Carrie Cabbage, Cathy Carrot, and Olivia Onionring!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Ep. 1X12 - M'Comic.
How would we even do drag? Photoshop on funny hats?
And TJ, next time you decide to write an entire episode based on an obscure British gag, include a link or something, will you?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Ep. 1X11 - The Proceeds from this Comic will go to Jerry's Kids.
Show me a disease on an episode of House and maybe I'll care. Maybe.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Ep. 1X09 - Only 8 Years Till We All Get Hoverboards!
10, 9, 8 .... 3, no, wait, damn it. Don't tell me! 6?
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